(I recently (well not recently, but you know) learned that Canada is slightly socialist, what with free health care and things. Well now, how will the other countries react?)
Canada stood up and walked up to the front of the room. "Profits have been up, with the end of the war we are finally recovering," he announced but of course no one was listening.
"Alfred, you've already spoken, sit down already!" England shouted.
"That's not me, I'm right here! AHAHA the fairies have gotten into your head!" Alfred laughed, shoving another burger into his mouth.
"The fairies have always been in his head, ahen," China sniffed, delicately eating another dumpling.
"They must be driven away through the power of AMOUR~" France cried dramatically, sliding his hand onto England's butt.
"DON'T TOUCH ME THERE, YOU WANKER! I OUGHT TO HAVE KILLED YOU IN THE WAR--"
Canada ignored their antics and kept talking. Even if they never paid attention, it was his duty as a nation to tell his fellow allied nations of his news. "We have also passed a bill for free health-care, funded by the government. This means, of course, that I am now slightly Socialist."
At that word the room fell silent.
"MATTIE! SOCIALIST? THAT'S PRACTICALLY COMMUNIST! Has the commie Ruskie been telling you things again?" Alfred shouted, giving the said commie a side-glare.
Russia grinned. "Matvey, I am so glad you have come to see the light, da? We save your government the trouble of changing totally to Socialism and just have you join me, da? That way my government will take care of everything!"
"MatTHEW, is not going anywhere near your frozen wasteland, commie!"
"Mon dieu, how could my child I so lovingly raised grow to join the communists? How tragic!" France sobbed into his lacy handkerchief. "It must have been England's horrible parenting strategies! Look how America turned out! The communism must be driven away from my boy's beautiful body through the power of AMOUR~!"
"DON'T GET ANYWHERE NEAR HIM, YOU WINE-LOVING MY BELOVED! Matthew," England turned his disapproving eyes to the stunned country, "how could you have turned to communism? If you had any problems, you should have just told me."
"I'm not-- I didn't--" Matthew stuttered, still amazed at how much of a reaction this got, and how much attention they were paying to him. He hadn't realized that they would take it this way, heck, he hadn't even expected them to listen to him at all!
"MATTIE!" Alfred grabbed his shoulders and started shaking him back and forth. "FREE THE COMMIE DEMONS FROM YOUR SOUUUULL! THEY'RE LIKE BIG LEECHES ON YOUR SOUL, SUCKING AWAY THE CAPITALISM AND REPLACING IT WITH THE DEVIL'S COMMIEISM!!"
"Commieism isn't a word, comrade," Russia stated calmly, "But them, I wouldn't have expected you to know that, you American PIG."
"At least I'm not a DEMONIC SNOWMAN. You'll melt, commie. All snowmen melt. AND THE POWERS OF CAPITALISM WILL TRIUMPH ONCE AGAIN!" Alfred posed ridiculously.
Matthew watched this debate slightly fearfully, and squeaked loudly when he felt a hand on his bottom. "My son, let me release the communist demons from you," Francis murmured.
"E-eeh-"
"GET AWAY FROM HIM!" England tackled Francis away and they started another 100 Years War.
China, who had been sitting there calmly eating dumplings the whole time, stood up. "Now now, children, there's no need to fight, aru. The solution is simple."
"C-China?"
"I will teach Canada here in the ways of communism. All his land will belong to me. Would any of you like some tasty Chinese snacks?"
Canada finally found his voice. "I'M NOT A COMMUNIST!" he screamed. "I'M JUST IMPLEMENTING FREE HEALTH CARE!"
There was an awkward pause.
"Who are you again?"
Canada let his head fall onto the table with a loud bang.
(Andddd end. How was it? Tell me what should be changed and stuff~ ^_^ have a nice Thanksgiving break!)
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Tue Nov 22, 2011 7:10 pm
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